Live a Happy Life

Are you happy?  What is happiness?  How do you maintain happiness?  Understanding what makes you happy helps you become happier.

Happiness is accepting yourself for who you are and your life for what it is.  You have taken a realistic look and made any needed changes.  You like yourself. You have done the same with your life.  You are content. This doesn’t mean that you won’t strive for a better life, a better you.  It means that you have accepted yourself where you are now.

Getting to this point may take some work. Take a look at the following questions to get you started.

DO YOU LIVE A HAPPY LIFE? 

• How do you define happiness or contentment?
• What makes you believe you are happy?
• When are you happy?
• Is there a special time or place when you are most content?
• How often does this feeling of well-being happen?
• If you consider yourself happy, is it contingent on situations outside yourself or does the feeling come from inside you?
• When you are happy for short periods of time, can you duplicate that situation or experience?
• Is there some area of your life that you find disquieting or upsetting?
• If you see yourself as unhappy, is it because of circumstances?
• Who or what in your life makes you happy or destroys your happiness?

“Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakens.” ― Carl Jung

If your happiness is based on anything outside yourself such as money, more time or a relationship with the right person, you are doomed to failure.

Example: I don’t have the job I want.  The people I have to work with are not nice people.  I know that if I had a better job, I would be happy.

When circumstances change, your mood will change.  If your happiness comes from inside you, your contentment will not vary with the circumstances.

Example: I don’t like my job.  I don’t like the people I work with; however, I need the job experience and want to figure out how to get along with people I don’t like.  It will come in handy when I move on to another job.  I won’t let others steal my happiness.

“Easier said than done,” you say.  How do you create happiness inside you?  How do you rely on yourself, not other people, places or things?

Consider whether you treat yourself with the same love and appreciation with which you would treat another person.  Consider self-respect, self-acceptance, appreciation, trust and tolerance.  Look at these characteristics and apply them to yourself.

DO YOU RESPECT YOURSELF?  Is there something in your past or someone who has made you feel less of a person?  Are you living up to your personal values?  Can you say you can be trusted?  Do you keep your word?

DO YOU ACCEPT YOURSELF?  Are you as accepting of yourself as you are of others?  Do you look only at your flaws or do you consider your positive attributes?  If there are areas you are uncomfortable with, are you in the process of changing them?  Change what you do not like and accept that which you are not interested in altering.  Perfection is not a requirement of life.  It is not necessary to live up to another person’s standards or ideas.  You won’t be happy until you accept yourself.

DO YOU APPRECIATE YOURSELF?  Do you look at the good things you do and pat yourself on the back? Do you give yourself the words of encouragement that you tell others?  If you have trouble remembering the positive happenings each day, write them down.  When you do something you believe is good, write a story, sing a song, write it in your small notepad.  When someone else gives you a compliment, write it down. Read your list every day.

DO YOU TRUST YOURSELF?  Do you follow your intuition?  Do you make practical decisions?  Is your judgment sound?  Do you use common sense?  Do you learn from your mistakes?  If you don’t learn from your mistakes, you will repeat them over and over again.  This can rob you of your happiness.

DO YOU SHOW TOLERANCE TOWARD YOURSELF?  Do you dwell on negative thoughts or do you balance them with positive thoughts?  Your normal thinking may not be positive.  Your negative mind chatter may drag you down, but you can develop the habit of positive thinking, creating an attitude of optimism and hope.

How you view the world relates to how you view yourself.  Thinking negative thoughts, especially about yourself, makes you feel unhappy.  You are unhappy with yourself, your situation in life, or with others in your life.  When you see life as positive and encouraging, you see yourself as content.  It also allows you more tolerance toward yourself and others.

Take care of yourself.  If you don’t, nobody else will.  If you can’t appreciate and love yourself, how can you expect others to appreciate and love you?  Develop goals that move you closer to caring for yourself.  Learn from everything that happens, the positive as well as the negative, the small as well as the large.

A pleasant side effect of happiness is that you become more flexible.  As you like yourself more, you become more considerate of others.  You are not completely preoccupied with getting your own personal needs met.  It’s a win-win situation.  As you become more content and happier with yourself, you find that delightful people come into your life and enhance it further.

Your happiness rests in your hands.  ]

“If you want things to happen, work to make them happen.” ― Anonymous

QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER 

• Are you happy?  Why?  Why not?
• If not, what can you do about it?
• When will you begin to do something about areas that affect your happiness?
• Are you willing to try something and fail so you will have a better understanding of what to try next time?

©B. Eddy

[box type=”bio”] Betty Eddy is a published author and member of the Netiv community. Her work as a life coach has given her unique insight into self help. In her book “Untying the Knots of Life” she deals with concepts which guides the reader though self discovery. [/box]