Achieve Peace of Mind

We all have times when we put our needs before others. When we take care of ourselves, we are better equipped to handle life and take care of the people who depend on us. This can make us feel selfish or guilty. Discover how you can achieve peace of mind in spite of these challenges.

WHY HAVEN’T YOU TAKEN TIME for yourself? Is it because you don’t consider yourself worthy? Do you think it too selfish an idea? Do you think that you are so needed that a little time for yourself would let everyone down and you can’t do that?

If you feel that taking time for yourself is selfish, you’re right. What’s wrong with taking care of yourself first so that you are better able to care for others? Treat yourself the same way you treat others. Show yourself the same respect you show the most important person in your life.

If everyone needs you so badly that you cannot take some time for yourself, it’s time to readjust your life so that your responsibilities are delegated to others. Feeling needed is an important part of everyone’s life. Balance in meeting other’s needs vs. meeting your needs is important for a well-rounded life, yours as well as others.

If needy people surround you, you may be encouraging that need in them to make yourself feel important.

TAKE A MINI VACATION. Most world religions advocate a day of rest. There must be some good reason for this. Taking a day to relax gives you the opportunity to recharge your mental, physical, and emotional batteries.

 “Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is mystery. Today is a gift.”

― Anonymous

Based on our Western, Judeo-Christian culture, that would mean Saturday or Sunday. You may say, “I don’t have time for that. I need my weekends to catch up on everything.” Consider taking one day and plan to spend it doing what you want to do. Do not work around the house unless it’s something you enjoy, such as gardening. Get up late. Talk to your neighbors. Reacquaint yourself with your family.

Try this one time and notice how great you feel the following week. If you believe you cannot spend a whole day dedicated to enjoying yourself and renewing your energy, try setting your alarm clock to wake up one half hour earlier than normal each day and lie in bed thinking about whatever you choose.

Think about the day; plan, but let your mind wander and enjoy waking up slowly. This gives you a pleasant start for the day. If you have to, go to bed one half hour earlier. Figure out a way to do this. Once you begin this habit, you will never want to go back to jumping out of bed half asleep and moving into the day at a mad dash.

RECOGNIZE WHAT, WHEN AND WHO STRESSES YOU. Learn to be aware of when you’re getting up tight. When does your stomach knot up? When do you feel like running away? When do you say, “I don’t want to be around that person.” When do you want to scream or tear your hair out? When do you shout at others or lose your temper? Become aware of your hot buttons and who pushes them. See Defeat Button Pushers, page 37.

Buy a blood pressure monitor and take your blood pressure several times a day. Look at how it drops when you intentionally allow yourself to relax. Now you have an idea of when you are upset and how to deal with it. Think of yourself taking the blood pressure test and act accordingly. Take a couple of deep breaths. Your peace of mind will follow.

Start to deal with things that upset you. Begin to create a plan to handle your stressors or change the situations to remove or reduce them.

If someone constantly pushes your buttons, get to the bottom of your vulnerability. If you can remove the person from your life, do so without feeling guilty. If not, work at taking the comments or actions less personally.

If you feel that you have no control over your life, make a mental note of all the things you can control. You control what you wear, when you go to bed, who you have as a friend, what you say to your friend, what you eat and what you decide not to do. The list goes on and on. When you start to look at things you do control in your life, the things you don’t control become less powerful.

The same goes for success. Some people find success stressful. You may believe that you are not successful, at all. Make a list of your current, seemingly small successes. You may be very successful at stretching a dollar. You may be successful at planning dinner parties or creating a great Thanksgiving meal. You may be successful at helping and supporting people. You may be good at solving problems or gathering facts for others. Maybe you are always available when someone needs an expert to fix car problems. When you think about it, you are probably good at many, many things. Look for them. Consider the positives in your life to counteract all the negatives that are constantly bombarding you.

Do things that you enjoy to encourage peace of mind. Think about pleasant things to do. When you begin to feel stressed out, do one of them.

• Sing or hum to yourself
• Go for a walk
• Take a few deep breaths
• Stroke a pet
• Take a long, hot bath with candles and soft music. Lock the door so others don’t interrupt. When they call through the bathroom door, tell them you’re not home.

©B. Eddy

[box type=”bio”] Betty Eddy is a published author and member of the Netiv community. Her work as a life coach has given her unique insight into self help. In her book “Untying the Knots of Life” she deals with concepts which guides the reader though self discovery. [/box]