Have No Regrets

It is not uncommon for someone to die and leave those behind to feel guilty about something. That is why you do not wait. Live you life with no regrets. Tell the people you love that you love them, today. Show the people that you care about that you love them enough to give them a most precious gift, the gift of your time and yourself. Do what you can, now, before it’s too late.

“Whatever you want to do, do it now. There are only so many tomorrows.”

― Michael Landon, quoted by Brad Darrach in Life

To avoid regrets, if there is something you have always wanted to do, to be – start moving toward that goal, now. Begin the process. Create or work on an existing goal. This gives you creative thoughts and a feeling of accomplishment. Try to do something, no matter how small, toward your goal every day. Make your goal something you enjoy. A year from now you can look back and see the growth you have made. This will encourage you to have no regrets and complete your goal.

TAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF every day, even if it is only a few minutes. See Achieve Peace of Mind, for more information on taking care of yourself.

Example: Set the alarm one half hour early to lie in bed and daydream or plan your day. Or, go into your office or bedroom after you come home from work and ask not to be disturbed for fifteen minutes. If nothing else, go into the bathroom and lock the door and read for fifteen minutes.

If you don’t take the time, no one will give it to you.

FORGET ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS and worries, and have fun. Live in the moment. Enjoy whatever is good about the day. Make an effort to include pleasant moments in each day. Think about them at the end of the day. That way, you enjoy them twice.

Example: “The woman in the grocery store helped me pick up all the boxes I tipped over.”

Consider the future, but do not worry about it. Worry is the thought process that occurs when you have done all you can and are still thinking about it.

Love the moment. Flowers grow out of dark moments. Therefore, each moment is vital. It affects the whole. Life is a succession of such moments and to live each, is to succeed. ―  Corita Kent

ACCEPT SUPPORT FROM OTHERS, when necessary. Don’t try to be a lone ranger. Everyone needs help sometimes. Don’t let pride deprive you of help that would improve your life. In reverse, don’t always ask someone for help. Learn to think for yourself. Be aware of when to ask and when to not ask. Pay attention to the person’s response, so you will know how your request is received.

STOP AND LOOK AT YOUR OPTIONS when you feel overwhelmed. Don’t wait until you can’t think or are frozen with fear. Trust yourself to believe you can handle change. It is natural to dislike change you do not initiate. Change may overwhelm you. Remember situations when change has come into your life and consider how well you did. You can handle it. Give yourself credit.

Example: Mary went through a divorce she did not initiate and she was sure she wouldn’t survive. She had been a stay-at-home mom. She could give up. She could move in with her parents. She could look for a man to take care of her. She decided to get a job, live on a lot less and raise her kids. She was exhausted most of the time. Her children did well and appreciated her more than she expected. She discovered that she loved her work and moved up in the business. Originally, her options were few, but she managed. Now she looks back and realizes that her life turned out well in spite of the divorce, maybe because of it.

You, like everyone else had turning points in your life when you needed to make difficult choices. You managed and came out ahead. You didn’t know what would happen and you survived. It may not have been what you wanted at the time, but you made it work out. Remember those times so you can encourage yourself when trouble comes again.

“I am only one. But still, I am one. I cannot do everything, but still, I can do something and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do the something that I can do” ― Edward Everett Hale

DEVELOP A SUPPORT GROUP you can turn to when you need to sort out thoughts, or want encouragement. You may want someone to talk to as a diversion, to take your mind off your problems. See Develop a Support Group, page 46.

LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES. Never regret your mistakes. They are some of the best teachers you have. They become a waste if you do not learn from them. Discuss your mistakes with your support group for objectivity and added insight. Don’t be ashamed of mistakes. Some people may appear as though they have it all together. You don’t see the whole picture. Your mistakes may be a process of elimination. You now know what not to do. Be flexible enough to change your mind when needed. Don’t be afraid to try again.

Example: “I will not go that route again until construction has ended.”

DO NOT BE EASILY DISCOURAGED. There is a time to know when something is working and when it is not. Giving up before you have given something or someone a fair chance keeps you from moving ahead. If you find yourself continually jumping from one idea to another without enough time to find out if it works, you are wasting time. Evaluate your situation frequently, but do not stop until you are absolutely certain something is not working for you. Conversely, when you realize that something is not going well, and you see that it will not get better, don’t waste any more time on it.

Example: “I am going to talk to my car repair man and decide if I want to spend more money on this car or if I need to buy another car.”

UNDERSTAND YOUR NEEDS well enough to convey them to people in your life. Mold your life around your needs and desires. For example, if you are an Influential person, you have a need to socialize, to talk to others. See the Personality Quiz, Page 1. This is not a desire. It is a need based on your personality. Do not get a job where you are locked away in an office with no contact with other people. Create situations that meet your needs. Do not expect a spouse or family member to meet all your needs. They cannot do it. Have people you can turn to for each need you have. See Live Life as a Banquet, page 74, for a partial list of needs.

Following these suggestions will help keep you from having regrets in the future.

QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER:

• Is there something in your life you regret? Something you said or didn’t say to someone, something you did or didn’t do?
• Do you want to make sure that never happens again?
• Do you learn from your mistakes?
• Can you forgive yourself when you do or not do something and you regret it?

©B. Eddy

[box type=”bio”] Betty Eddy is a published author and member of the Netiv community. Her work as a life coach has given her unique insight into self help. In her book “Untying the Knots of Life” she deals with concepts which guides the reader though self discovery. [/box]